I will never forget the first meltdown I experienced with my eldest daughter, it was frightening and unnerving. Not only had I never seen a child so small become so angry but had no idea that it was even possible.
Over time, and through consistent consequences for incorrect behavior the meltdowns improved and became less frequent. In addition we began to understand the issues that our daughter was experiencing that were triggering these out bursts.
Initially I questioned my parenting skills. I thought “What is so wrong with my parenting that my child is behaving this way?” That’s when the Lord reminded me that anger in and of itself is not bad, it is what we do with our anger that is important.
The Bible tells us in our anger we are not to sin.
“”In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” (Ephesians 4:26)
God gave us emotions. Even Jesus became angry, but His anger was a righteous anger.
“12 Jesus entered the temple courts and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves. 13 “It is written,” he said to them, “‘My house will be called a house of prayer,’[e] but you are making it ‘a den of robbers.’[f]” (Mathew 21:12-13)
As parents our job is to teach our children about their emotions and the appropriate way to deal with their feelings.
For example if your child is hitting out of anger, explain to them that it is ok to feel angry but it is not ok to sin and hit others.
Ask your child if there is anything that is bothering them, then use that opportunity to talk them through the situation so they understand.
When our daughter was having problems with tantrums we realized that there was a communication barrier and her anger was out of frustration for not being able to communicate her wants and needs.
This gave us the needed information to help her communicate better which in turn dramatically improved her behavior.
God does not want your child to be emotionless, and He does not want us to eliminate uncomfortable emotions. God wants us to learn how to use self-control and not allow our lives to be governed by our feelings.
Feelings may lie to us but we can always trust the word of God and the Holy Spirit to discern right from wrong.
Turn to Jesus He will help you.